September 10, 2009

And so it begins...


My wife was telling me today that our oldest daughter has boy problems.
That's just great, I thought.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"She has three boys who like her." Lois said.
Of course there would have to be three. Not just one, or two, but three. Why shouldn't I have to worry in 3s.
"One of the boys asked her for her phone number," Lo said, "An eighth grader."
Ay-yi-yi!

Three seconds later:

"Did you hear what happened to your youngest daughter yesterday?" Lois asked.
"Uh...what?" I answered.
"An eighth grader asked her if he could be her boyfriend."
Holy Cow!!!
"Do you know what your daughter told him?"
"What?" I asked.
"They were standing out in front of the yard and she said, 'I don't know. Let's go inside and ask my dad if he thinks that's a good idea.' "
(YES! My sweet angel. Great answer.) 

16 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laoch of Chicago said...

: )

This seems good in the short run but horrifying in the long run. Deciding who her boyfriends should be is a no win situation sadly. It will be hard enough for her to get it right.

*mary* said...

What a good girl!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Loc,
It is that last line I fear.

*mary*
I agree.

Krëg said...

Pointers from a coworker who just sent his first daughter off to college and will see his other daughter graduate within a year:

When dates arrive to pick up your daughter, make sure you answer the door in a little clothing as possible, and if possible, cover yourself in gun oil or small amounts of blood. And NEVER smile or break eye contact with the young man. Talk in a hushed whisper. Clean your fingernails with a knife. Tell him to have your daughter home in fifteen minutes.

ZDub said...

My dad used to unlock his large gun cabinet and either be loading a gun or polishing one.

Scared the crap out of boys, that's for sure!

You have a great daughter!

JennyMac said...

Awwwwwwwwwww.....good girl!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

JennyMac,
It made me smile.

Maggie May said...

i totally hear you. my daughter is 7 and already my husband is starting to get nervous about these things.

razorsandvines said...

You've been doing something very, very right.

I'll let you in on a little secret that we like to keep well hidden from our fathers...

No matter what we say, what we do to the contrary, how much we complain that you're in our business when it comes to boys - regardless of the fact that we truly believe that we know what's best for ourselves and even some of the arguments that may come to you in the future from your girl...

...having a father who we know cares enough about us, respects us, loves us and wants the best for us... IS the greatest thing you can offer her.

How a woman treats guys and allows guys to treat her has EVERYTHING to do with her father - good or bad.

Even if there is a rebellious period of time - every guy that will ever cross her path will be compared to you, whether it's said out loud or not.

We *like* having an out. That's exactly what your daughter did to that boy too - she took her out.

Every boy I've ever known in high school that had anything even remotely to do with me - was scared to death of my father.

I've always prided myself on being independent, but even with that - I was always grateful for that wild card and it got me out of a lot of potential situations that could have turned out poorly. The whole male race seems to instinctively know/understand when a male holds something dear - and it makes a lot of boys think twice.

The fact that she made that statement is a complete testament to *you*.

She's not going to want you to pick her boyfriends. What that was designed for was to say to the boy, "you have someone to answer to" - and it was SMART! Well put and well played. You must be proud of her. Hell, I'm proud of her and I don't even know her.

One of my motto's after graduation when I'd run into some guys who wanted me to answer to them just by virtue of them being male and me being female (it was the 80s...) was, "if I don't answer to my dad over it, I'm not answering to you over it..."

It drove the point home.

It will drive the point home to her when she gets older too if you point out to her that no male should ever treat her, under any circumstance, in any way - less than you treat her.

Write it in a short note to her to hold on to over the years...and I bet you'll find she never forgets it and keeps that note for the rest of her life - and refers to it if some guy gets out of hand with her.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Maggie May,

I cannot believe how easy it is to worry. And I suspect that I will do this more often now that they are growing older.
Glad you stopped by.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Razor & Vines,

My wife read your comment and said, "She's right. You need to do that -- Write them notes -- Because the girls will pull those notes out of a drawer some time down the line and re-read them."
That sounds like great advice. I actually have something I've written to my oldest on a birthday card, but it's sitting in my drawer for now.
When my wife told me how our youngest responded it made me very happy. She is very bright. This is the same daughter who did
this
last year.
As our girls get older, this is one of those times that I am hoping the pen is mightier than the sword.

Thank you for this.

Pop and Ice said...

I scare/scared the living daylights out of most of my children's boyfriends/girlfriends. But that's fine by me. I will make you hurt if you do wrong by my children.

Pop and Ice said...

Oh, yes, and your daughter's answer was perfect. Gotta check with Mom/Dad is always a great answer when you're not sure.

Debra W said...

HA, I love it! Your younger daughter is definitely a quick one! The oldest, well she might just be getting to "that" age. I warned you a while ago...

Since my girls have been dating for a while(all but my youngest, thank God!) I can give you some tips. While I am always the one that is all sweet and welcoming when they come over, my husband exudes something that has caused every boy that has passed through our home to develop a certain amount of fear of him. I don't know if it is something in the eyes when he shakes their hand, or something he whispers in their ear, but they all have a very healthy amount of fear. It has been a joke amongst our four girls for years, but the boys never seem to get over it.

Hugs,
Debbie

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Debbie.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think Mark has probably learned the art of intimidation after raising such lovely daughters for so long.
:-)

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