July 4, 2009

The Angelina Interview

(Sometime during the hour of 11:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m.; January 2002)

When my wife first told me that she might interview Angelina Jolie, I think my jaw dropped. And if it had been summerime, I think I probably would have swallowed some flies. My wife looked at me and said, "You want to meet her, don't you?"

"YES!" I blurted. Actually "YES!" is the tamer version. I'm pretty sure I said something totally different. But then the hammer fell and she chuckled, "Yeah, well that's not going to happen."

Wiping something that resembled spittle from my face, I looked at her. Why would she do that? Oh yeah...because she can. I carefully composed myself and I think I was primping (just a little). The vanity mirror in the car was down and I was looking at myself. So yes, I was probably primping.

Me: “So...(very nonchalantly)...what's up?”

Wife: “I might be interviewing her."

Me: “Man your job really sucks. How awful would that be.” ( I LOVE THIS JOB OF YOURS!)

Wife: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I said, your job really sucks.”

Wife: “Hmm. Yes, well. (She stops and stares at me.) There's a big conference coming up with Wayne Gretzky, Angelina, and the governor. It's for the Olympics.”

Me: “Hey, I know the governor. Mr. Leavitt’s a fine man.”

Wife: "You don't know the governor. You've only met him. Twice at best.”

Me: "Yeah. Well that's more than all those other people who have met him once."

Wife: "You can't go anyway. You work Saturdays.”

Me: “Hey! Just because I work on Saturdays doesn't mean I can't take them off, (I think) maybe.”

Wife: “Well, anyway...I'm not sure I'm going to do it.”

Me: “Dude! That's Wayne Gretzky you’re talking about. You'll want to do that interview. You should take my camera, too. And take lots of pictures. Of everyone. That's there.”

Wife: “You’re a weirdo. You just want pictures of Angelina.”

Me: “ It's the Olympics man. We should be taking lots of pictures. Of Everyone.”

Wife: “Whatever.”

(Months later)

Me: “Dude, whatever happened to your Angelina interview?”

Wife: “My what?”

Me: “Your Angelina interview?”

Wife: “Who?”

Me: “Angelina Jolie...and, and, and...that other guy. That sports guy. The ice rink guy.”

Wife: “Wayne Gretzky?”

Me: “Yeah, exactly. Whatever happened to that?”

Wife: “It never happened. I was too busy.”

Me: “Dude, you were going to take pictures!”

Wife: “You’re a WEIRDO! And QUIT calling me DUDE!”

I never did get to meet Angelina Jolie because it turns out I work on Saturdays and nobody wants to work for me on Saturdays. They like their Saturdays. And my wife never got to meet her, either, because her work took her somewhere else that saturday also, (OOH...burn) and somebody else got the interview. I never meet anyone.


Laoch of Chicago said...

No doubt Angelina would have been full of deep insight!

Zakary said...

Wow, Angelina would creep me out. I'm not sure if I would have been in on that or not.

Sorry you missed out!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

LoC, Yes, well I was still a bit of teenager a few years ago.

Zak, I saw a picture of her on the news stand the other day and it creeped me out. That's what made me think of this.
Lois is generally right. I can certainly be a weirdo.

Pop and Ice said...

I like the idea of you swallowing flies. It would serve you right.

I sometimes suggest stuff that makes my hubby choke. But I am serious and it is so worth seeing his reaction.

soulmoxie said...

SAD! I was hoping for a different ending to this story!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Pop and Ice, Ouch!

Soul Moxie, It was quite a few years ago. I got over it. There a few other people sitting at the table that would have been far more interesting to meet.
I hope you guys have a nice time in Germany. Oneday I want to visit. My mom was born in Liepzieg.

Debra W said...

But you are both still very cool in my eyes! What a fun story, and your bantering...priceless!


*mary* said...

That is hilarious. Despite her weirdness (or because of it?) I would still go meet her if I had the chance. Well, maybe. It might be one of those horrid moments that you meet someone superhumanly perfect, then when the angelic chorus ends a few seconds later you realize you are a flawed mortal, so you run away screaming and ashamed. You know.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Debra, Thank you...:-)

*Mary* Yes, and boys will be boys.

Debbie said...

I think if my husband's jaw didn't drop at the prospect of meeting Angelina, I'd be very worried about him.

Lorrie Veasey said...

One of the reasons that I lerve you Beaux is this post. Because husband o mine would not have let that go. Everyday he would have asked about Angelina. Every afternoon he woudl have asked about Angelina. At nightime he woudl probably suggest a threesome with Angelina. Thank goodness there are still good people around like you and Lo or we'd all be in menage a trois with starlets, is all I can say.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Debbie, I know right!

Lorrie! :-) Hope all the summer line-up is doing great. Missed you.

Sunshine said...

Beaux... Angelina is our fav actress ... wow I wish i can take a interview or even see her one day.. face to face..


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