March 23, 2010

All The Cool People Are Doing It

Dear Facebook,

I know we have only known each other for a short time; shorter than MySpace, but I think it's time we said good bye. The truth of the matter is I'm not very fond of you, or the likes of you. That is why I dumped MySpace. Even now, MySpace still haunts me and continues to stalk me by sending me e-mails begging me to come back. I've tried to use my spam filter, but that hasn't helped any. I wish I could have deactivated it, but I didn't know how. I had to resort to deleting all my information, but I'm still considered a user. I think MySpace is the user.
But seriously, FB, I didn't really know what I was getting into when I signed on with you either. Oh...I know you found two of my friends, and that was nice of you. But what else has come from this relationship? Lately you have become a real nuisance. You are kind of overbearing with all your new rules and notifications and your apps have become increasingly invading and borderline obnoxious. I don't like the way they sometimes make up random lies about me. Like saying I've joined the Starbucks Pastry Team. I didn't do that. And this thing about sending out 'Smiles', I never did that one either. What is it with you? I've never sent out anything. My wife has sent me butterflies before, but that's about it.
And what about the games you play? Millions and millions of users are trapped for hours at a time playing Farmboy or Scrabble or whatever the hell you have them doing. Even I got sucked into that awful scramble word game. And I don't know how many hours I've watched my family looking for Easter eggs.
Well I'm tired FB, and I really see no sense in continuing on with this online affair. All my friends already know where to find me. So it is kind of pointless. Plus, it's not like I spent a lot time visiting you anyways. I really don't think you'll even miss me, what with the millions of people who sign on everyday.
So good luck FB, and please don't pull any of that crap MySpace has been doing. It gets really old.
Sincerely, Customer User 2,486,394


Krëg said...

If an object plugs into an outlet and requires you to stare at it for longer than four seconds, it is stealing your time from your life and family.

In a few years, I'm sure Facebook will be compulsory. In fact, I think someone needs to start THAT fb group as soon as possible.

Laoch of Chicago said...


Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Good one. I'm pretty sure it won't be me.



Laura Hegfield said...

this is wonderfully funny and I have to say, although I love connecting with my young nieces, former students and was delighted to reconnect with friends (who actually still feel like friends) that I had lost touch with years ago...I find FB overwhelming! I much prefer the blogging feels like a much more solid supportive community...and it is never annoying! So although I only occasionally step into "fb" land to offer links to my latest blog entries (lol) and occasionnally chat with my sweet teenage nieces and a few truly dear friends...MY heart and time are devoted to the blogosphere...I wish I had your courage to truly break off my relationship with FB. Maybe one day...I guess I've never been good at good byes.

I hope you are feeling well (well enough?) these days Beaux.

linda said...

i thought this was brilliant and also very express my feelings perfectly....i have heard people say that blogging is "out" and fb is the new blogging platform...what? who ever writes anything on fb other than '100 characters' long, lol...really, i think it's as brainless as myspace and all the rest of them...but for some strange reason, we seem to be in the minority. ah well, ok with me ;)

Tracy said...

Love this! Only wish I had what it takes to step away from FB myself... Stupid brain-sucking games; unfortunately, they're the perfect antidote to a long day at work and a long night at home with children. :

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...


I know what you mean about connecting. I'm just going to stick with e-mails though.
I am doing all right, (the stomach aches come and go, but there isn't much I can do about it) and I just grin and bare it. If it's too much I just go lay down. Hope you are doing well also?

That is funny, "The new blogging platform." I wonder who thought that would work? Thanks for the laugh.

I get it. Loie does it all the time. I remember I used to do a lot of gaming back in the day when I got off work and then one day I lost interest and stopped.

Sunshine said...

Hi Dear

Its nice to see you again on my blog I miss all of you. It was just a matter of time that i was not writing it lot lots of things were going on. Bt now back to normal and glad you guys all prayed for us.

ZDub said...

Facebook bugs the shizz out of me.

I don't want to play Mafia wars or Farmville.

razorsandvines said...



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