January 24, 2010

Ghost of birthdays past

Today is my 49 birthday. A little over a year ago I had my doubts that I'd make it this far. Now I realize that was only fear. 
My children and my wife showered me with chocolate, books and clothes this morning, and I think we're going to see Avatar.
I've never been big on the birthday thing. Before I got married I kind of always disappeared. I've always been somewhat of a loner. Even after 13 years of marriage it is still hard for me to get used to it. It is amazing how we as children can be psychologically scarred for life. My father, who was once mad at me and in fury took away my gifts right before my birthday or Christmas. I can't remember which. He dragged out a little red tool box out of the closet that they were going to give me and said, "See this, this is mine now." The other gifts came out and went away just the same. I have never quite gotten over that.
I am still not used to it, but as the children get older and their want for celebration gets more enthusiastic each year I cannot help but smile. They are pivotal in coaxing out the little boy in their father. Sometimes I am stunned by their actions when they do something that brings tears of joy to my face. 
I look forward to the many years ahead, and while I don't want to live to be a 100, I want to see them date and go to college and walk them down a rose-strewn sheet of pedals. I want to hold grandchildren and watch them laugh and play. I want to shower them with gifts.

18 comments:

*mary* said...

That is so sad that your father did that to you! Yes, the scars we get in childhood never really fade away completely. Our kids are the best antidote for them though. Happy birthday, and here's to many more, friend!

Laura Hegfield said...

Happy Birthday Beaux...may you be blessed with many, many more...may you live a life filled with the pleasure of watching your kids grow up and your grandchildren too.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Warm birthday wishes to you. It is nice that you have such a wonderful family.

....-~*~- Crystal Iris Photography-~*~.... said...

Someday may your fathers ghost forget to show up on your birthday or any celebration. :-) Here is to children and the kindness of a spouse that is patient and caring. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Tracy said...

Happy Birthday Beaux! Glad to hear that you were spoiled, and can't wait to tease you next year when you hit the big 5-0.

Love you,
Tracy

Pop and Ice said...

Sending Birthday wishes your way and I'm glad that you're getting used to celebrating! While some events can have a hold on us, we've only to let them go in order to experience the new. I know I am certainly looking forward to this new phase of my life.

razorsandvines said...

Happy Birthday!!!
Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!

Renee said...

And all your wants are good dear Beaux. All your wants are the real ones.

Happy Birthday dear friend.

Love Renee xoxo

Krëg said...

Happy birthday, sir! Here's to 49 more! (see, that way you'll be 98, not 100. It was technically the best I could wish for you without going over your guidelines)

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Thank you everyone, and I couldn't help but smile at all the extra happy's Razor. Thanx for that.

Mary, Laura, Iris and Laoch, It is truly true that the love from family is such a blessing. I am a lucky man.

Trace, I got free ice cream!

Pop, As I said earlier, the conflict is getting better.

Renee, Thank you sweet lady. :-)

Kreg, I like that age a lot better.

Renee said...

Oh Beaux I am so excited you are gypsy number 26. Off we go, what do you want to do. Do you want to sit with me and you and I can shuffle the cards because sometimes we don't feel good and I think we deserve a break.

Get your wagon ready we will be there by 2 this afternoon.

xoxoxo

linda said...

what our parents do to us, when we look back through the lens of our own experience as parents, is sometimes a shattering experience, a time of disbelief and many unanswerable questions...this i know for sure...

this post is so very touching on many levels...many happy birthdays to you with all things most precious to you♥

initially i thought you had posted about your wife's kitty and perhaps you did but i don't see it because of a glitch ... if your kitty is not doing well tonight, i wish her well and hope that she is doing fine in days to come... having loved many pets, i know just how you must feel.

kristine said...

Sorry I missed your birthday but i see it was a lovely one.

Warm wishes for many, many more.

Children and love and a great spouse, these are the antidotes to childhood. Not bad at all when you think about it.

Indigo said...

Happy Belated Birthday dear friend.
It's strange how our childhood marks our adult celebrations.

I remember my mother taking me and my brother with her to pick out toys we liked, then turning around and giving them away during Christmas to various charities. Neither of us received a single toy of our own. Yes, I do understand the concept of giving, but a young child doesn't always get it.

My daughter changed so much for me. I celebrate Christmas with a childlike joy because of her. Birthdays I'm still apt to do a disappearing act. (Hugs)Indigo

Chew said...

Hello there,

I hope you had a great birthday!! And I hope the New Year has brought you peace and lots of love so far! I, to hope that you get to watch your babies date, get married, and that you get to hold your grandchildren. Be strong and happy and content:) And life will treat you well.

Debra W said...

Happy belated birthday, Beaux! May the coming year bring with it much joy, stable health, and LOVE.

It is remarkable that our parents could have done such stupid stuff to us. My heart breaks for the little boy in you, but I am glad that your own children and helping him to heal!

Hugs,
Deb

ZDub said...

You are an amazing person and I'm glad that we met through blogging.

I hope you had a very happy day, dear friend.

Kimberly said...

Happy Belated Birthday. "May the best of your past be the worst of your future"...

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