August 21, 2009

'Hood ornament

Dear Gene,

It bothers me to write this letter because I feel somewhat responsible for what I have to say. You see, the problem is your car has been parked in front of our house for over a month.
Now I know we said that you could park it there until you got things figured out, but I kind of thought you'd come by over that first weekend with one of your buddies and haul it away. I didn't realize you would be leaving it for this long. I didn't realize that when you said it was a piece of junk and you were just going to get rid of it that you would be doing it here.
Because, honestly, I already have enough junk. I don't need any more.
I really don't have a problem with you abandoning your car. It's your car and you can do that if you want, but just not here; in front of our house. So I was thinking that maybe, and this is just me thinking out loud, maybe you should take it home and think about selling it. Perhaps you could get it running long enough and then maybe take advantage of the Cash for Clunkers deal they got going on? What do you think about that, Gene?
The reason I bring this up is because the Cash for Clunkers program is ending very soon, like on Monday I think? And if you act now maybe you can turn this thing around and make a little money or something. That gives you 4 days, Gene. And I know your car runs. We drove it to my house after we got it running when we found you stalled on the freeway off-ramp. I remember because I was sitting right next to you. And I had told you beforehand after you had broken down that we would be happy to let you park it at our house so that you could get it off the street and avoid having it towed away. But that was before I understood that you were just going to leave it here permanently, like some unsightly yard decoration, Gene.
If I knew then what I know now I would have said something like, "Lets drive her down to the supermarket and park it in the parking lot." But for some reason, I didn't think of that.


Laoch of Chicago said...

How incredibly lame to leave a,piece of junk at your house!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Yes. I think he could of at least told us what his plans were the last time he was here working on it. But he left and never returned.

*mary* said...

I love the title. Perfect! At my old place I would have to call twice a month to report abandoned cars in front of our apartment. It was apparently a convenient drop-off point for stolen cars. The police would wait almost a month to come look, then it would be another week or so before they were towed away. Of course, it complicates things since you know the owner of this heap.
Hmm, maybe it's "anonymous" tipster time!


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